09 March 2011

Sexytalk is sexy, right?

In the meeting of the chatroom coven last night, beloved writing buddy Mud mentioned a book that she was enjoying, Pack Challenge by Shelly Laurenston. She liked the banter, and I have to say, any book with a discussion about werebunnies has something going for it. After all, why just have predator weres when you can have werebunnies or werebovines.

MUD: Never walk under a tree containing a werebovine at full moon.
ROSIE: Unless you're wearing a really big hat.

So as well as werebunny discussions, apparently there is also lots of sexytalk in the book, which got us to wondering, do lots of people talk during sex? And is it sexy? We came up with some of our own sexytalk to test the theory. Thank you ladies for letting your creative efforts out to alarm and disturb the real world:

1.  "Did you pick up milk?"

2.  "F*** me hard, big boy"

3.  "Where did you put that saucepan lid the last time you did the dishes?"

4.  "Shut up, you're interrupting my fantasy..."

5.  "Where's the remote? Leno's almost on."

6.  "What the f*** is that?"

7.  "Ow, you're on my hair." (borrowed from a twitter post)

8.  "That reminds me, we need to buy noodles."

9.  "These sheets really need washing."

10.  "I think I hear the dogs outside."

11.  "I think it's time to paint the ceiling. There are 123 cracks."

12.  "When are we getting rid of your mother?"
13.  "While you're there, could you take a look at that mole on my neck?"

14.  "Dya think you're gonna be much longer? I had beans for lunch. Fair warning."

15.  "Does this pillow make my butt look fat?"

16.  "That reminds me....I think the car's misfiring again."

17.  "Hey. Make that sound again and watch the look on the dog's face."

18.  "The nose hair trimmers are in the medicine cabinet. Right beside the mouthwash."

19.  "Do you smell something?"

20.  "Sorry, I kinda nodded off there."

21.  "How many gallons would it take to do the ceiling, dya think?"

My conclusion: sexytalk is possibly not sexy the way we do it. C-, could do better, and it's a good job none of us write erotica.

I think my personal favourite is no.17. Congratulations En, your reward is for us all to improve our sexytalk ready to try it out on you when we meet up in June.


  1. Just one cliche for you after seeing those all together at once... Silence is golden. :)

  2. Heh, yeah. The Old Git agrees.

  3. I told you there is something wrong when there is more chatter than moans. Since it was between two shapeshifting wolves, would that be howls and growling?

    Would werebunnies discuss carrots? Like, that carrot is very big. Is it all for me? Ohh, baby! Give me that carrot. Damn. No wonder rabbits multiply so fast.

  4. Do you want this carrot? What are you prepared to do for this carrot, baby?


  5. En, the original *snort*March 10, 2011 at 7:10 AM

    When you get to a certain age, moaning isn't necessarily a wanted alternative. It usually means your arthritic knuckle is seizing up, you have a charlie horse, or *someone* has just rested an elbow on your b@@bie that's slipped into your armpit.

    Or so I've heard.


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